A Room Without a View

This is a picture of what I would like to make for the upstairs round window. I think it's gorgeous. Instead of blues and browns, I would like it to be purple and green, to match the room decor and instead of fleur-de-lis, I'm thinking a minimalistic celtic symbol (not a shamrock). I also thought I'd do the center in clear beveled glass so we can still see the view. Steven says he doesn't care if we can see the view or not from that particular window because there are two more windows on either side of it. Nice window.

Lately

I suppose you've been wondering what I've been doing to kill time until my return to Cody. I have been spending other people's money in the name of beautifying America. Here are before and after shots (very bad ones) of my friend Kathy's kitchen. I hand cut stencils for the back wall to go with our inspiration piece--plates she bought and hung on the wall. Naturally, they are not in any of these pictures. I told you they were bad pictures.

Reminiscences

When I was a young mother, my mother visited me in Salinas. Leah was just a tiny baby and she was a lot of work. While we were going somewhere, a song popped into my head and I began singing it. I still don't know very many of the words, but the ones that kept coming back to me and that I sang were, "You'll never know just how much I love you. You'll never know just how much I care."

As I was singing it, I looked at Mom and said, "She'll never know, will she?"

My mother looked deep into my eyes and answered, "No. She'll never know."

English Story about Hotel Soap

Here is another story I just love. As I said last time, I really don't care whether it is true or not. It's just a good story.

Attached is some correspondence which actually occurred between a London hotel's staff and one of its guests. It was printed in the London Sunday Times.

Dear Maid,
Please do not leave any more of those little bars of soap in my bathroom since I have brought my own bath-sized Dial. Please remove the six unopened little bars from the shelf under the medicine chest and another three in the shower soap dish. They are in my way.
Thank You,
S. Berman

Dear Room #635m
I am not your regular maid. She will be back tomorrow, Thursday, from her day off. I took the 3 hotel soaps out of the shower soap dish as you requested. The 6 bars on your shelf I took out of your way and put on top of your Kleenex dispenser in case you should change your mind. This leaves only the 3 bars I left today, as my instructions from the management is to leave 3 soaps daily. I hope this is satisfactory.
Kathy,
Relief Maid

Dear Maid,
I hope you are my regular maid. Apparently Kathy did not tell you about my note to her concerning the little bars of soap. When I got back to my room this evening, I found you had added 3 little Camays to the shelf under my medicine cabinet. I am going to be here in the hotel for two weeks and have brought my own bath-sized Dial so I won't need those 6 little Camays which are on the shelf. They are in my way when shaving, brushing teeth, etc. Please remove them.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
My day off was last Wednesday, so the relief maid left 4 hotel soaps which we are instructed by the management to leave. I took the 6 soaps which were in your way on the shelf and put them in the soap dish where your Dial was. I put the Dial in the medicine cabinet for your convenience. I didn't remove the 3 complimentary soaps which are always placed inside the medicine cabinet for all new check-ins and which you did not object to when you checked in last Monday.
Please let me know if I can be of further assistance.
Your Regular Maid,
Dotty

Dear Mr. Berman,
The assistant manager, Mr. Kensedder, informed me this A.M. that you called him last evening and said you were unhappy with your maid service. I have assigned a new girl to your room. I hope you will accept my apologies for any past inconvenience. If you have any future complaints, please contact me so I can give it my personal attention. Call extension 1108 between 8 AM and 5 PM.
Thank You,
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Miss Carmen,
It is impossible to contact you by phone since I leave the hotel for business at 7:45 AM and don't get back before 5:30 or 6 PM. That's the reason I called Mr. Kensedder last night. You were already off duty. I only asked Mr. Kensedder if he could do anything about those little bars of soap. The new maid you assigned me must have thought I was a new check-in today, since she left another 3 bars of hotel soap in my medicine cabinet along with her regular delivery of 3 bars on the bathroom shelf. In just 5 days here I have accumulated 24 little bars of soap. Why are you doing this to me?
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
Your maid, Kathy, has been instructed to stop delivering soap to your room and remove the extra soaps. If I can be of further assistance, please call extension 1108.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mr. Kensedder,
My bath-sized Dial is missing. Every bar of soap was taken from my room including my own bath-sized Dial. I came in late last night and had to call the bellhop to bring me 4 little Cashmere Bouquets.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
I have informed our housekeeper, Elaine Carmen, of your soap problem, I cannot understand why there was no soap in your room since our maids are instructed to leave 3 bars of soap each time they service a room. The situation will be rectified immediately. Please accept my apologies for the inconvenience.
Martin L. Kensedder, Assistant Manager

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Who the **** left 54 little bars of Camay in y room? I came in last night and found 54 little bars of soap. I don't want 54 little bars of Camay. I want my one #### bar of bath-sized Dial. Do you realize I have 54 bars of soap in here? All I want is my bath-sized Dial. Please give me back my bath-sized Dial.
S. Berman

Dear Mr. Berman,
You complained of too much soap in your room so I had them removed. Then you complained to Mr. Kensedder that all your soap was missing so I personally returned them. The 24 Camays which had been taken and the 3 Camays you are supposed to receive daily. I don't know anything about the 4 Cashmere Bouquets. Obviously your maid, Kathy, did not know I had returned your soaps so she also brought 24 Camays plus the 3 daily Camays. I don't know where you got the idea this hotel issues bath-sized Dial. I was able to locate some bath-sized Ivory, which I left in your room.
Elaine Carmen, Housekeeper

Dear Mrs. Carmen,
Just a short note to bring you up-to-date on my latest soap inventory. As of today I possess:

On shelf under medicine cabinet--18 Camay in 4 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2.
On Kleenex dispenser--11 Camay in 2 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 3.
On bedroom dresser----1 stack of 3 Cashmere Bouquet, l stack of 4 bath-sized Ivory, and 8 Camay in 2 stacks of 4.
Inside medicine cabinet--14 Camay in 3 stacks of 4 and 1 stack of 2
In shower soap dish--6 Camay, very moist.
On northeast corner of tub--1 Cashmere Bouquet, slightly used.
On northwest corner of tub--6 Camays in 2 stacks of 3.

Please ask Kathy when she services my room to make sure the stacks are neatly piled and dusted. Also, please advise her that stacks of more than 4 have a tendency to tip. May I suggest that my bedroom window sill is not in use and will make an excellent spot for future soap deliveries. One more item--I have purchased another bar of bath-sized Dial which I am keeping in the hotel vault in order to avoid further misunderstandings.
S. Berman

One of my favorites: Tandem Story

I have to put this on my blog. It is one of my absolute favorite stories of all time. And I really don't care what Snopes might say about it.

English lit class

Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Colorado for an actual class assignment.

The professor told his class one day, "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right.

As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.

Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

The following was actually turned in by two of his English students:
Rebecca (Purple) BILL (BLUE)

The Story:
(first paragraph by Rebecca)

At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind of Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Bill)

Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and basted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca)

He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Bill)

Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mother-ship launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie.

(Rebecca)

This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Bill)

Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of *&# TEA??? Oh no, what am I do to? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca)

*$% #@^%!

(Bill)

$&^#*!

(Rebecca)

You @&%^#%# NEANDERTHAL!!

(Bill)

In your dreams, #@! Go drink some tea.

(TEACHER)

A+ -I really liked this one

House With a View

The Caseys and the Reyess, with whom we spent Thanksgiving, wanted to see some pictures of the view we enjoy from our little Cody home. So here they are:

After a while you kind of get used to it. Eat your heart out.

Baby News and Trick or Treat?

Here's the latest Bauer baby, Harper Ann Booker. I can pay no higher compliment than to testify that she is as beautiful as any other Bauer baby. High praise indeed.

The rest of the pictures are of Micah's kids all dressed up for "Beggar's Night." Steven and I are unanimous. We think that Maggie Jane's should win the coolest costume prize.

However, Henri really rocks out. We just hope that Hazy's costume is not some sort of omen.

And yes, it is very wierd to see Harriett with a pacifier in her mouth. However, in her defense, she thought up her costume all by herself. Huh.

For further cheap thrills, here is a picture of Harriett and Micah in 2006 wearing coordinated lady-bug tutus. Is America great or what?