Granny's memorial service was held Oct. 4. Steven and I drove down the night before and stayed in a hotel. The next day we met Aunt Denise in the church parking lot a couple of hours before the service. She gave me some mementos from Granny's belongings such as Mom's stories about her ancestors and the album I had made for her of the good times we had growing up. I also received some of her craft supplies and the pearls she left me in her will.
Then Aunt Denise handed me a purple velvet bag with a purple and gold satin drawstring. In it was a heavy box about the size of a shoe box. I asked her what it was and she said, "That's Mom." I replied, "This is not my mother. This is a bag of dust." I knew my mother and she was alive and still is alive. She may not have a body right now, but she is with the people she dearly loved, her parents and her brother, Scott.
Steven took the bag from me and loaded our car with the things that were given to us. Denise suggested that we go out to eat because Mom loved to eat out. We went to the Olive Garden and visited for about an hour. Then we returned to the church.
We watched the Relief Society set out cookies and punch for the attendees. Uncle Delmar and Aunt Enid showed up early, then Thom and Bonnie Casey. There were several bouquets of flowers. Brad and Leah sent an arrangement. I kept the card and put it in my journal with some of the condolence cards I received.
The opening prayer was given by Uncle Delmar, the eulogy was given by Denise, and I led the music and sang the special musical number, "Families Can Be Together Forever," with the funeral verse that I wrote. My voice didn't crack even once during the song, but I did forget the words during the first verse.
My cousins, Steve and Karl (now a member of the Mormon Tabernacle Choir) Tobler drove all night to be in attendance. The drove Aunt Betty in, but Betty couldn't attend because she developed an inner ear infection and was in an urgent care facility during that time. The boys came in late and sat in the back. After the Special remarks by Mom's bishop, those in attendance were allowed to come forward to share their insights.
Aunt Enid got up and shared some very comforting thoughts. She told about how she (Enid) cut her foot open as a little girl and had to have stitches in it. Then, the next morning, she had a new baby sister. She wanted to play with the baby, but her mother wouldn't let her.
She talked about how devoted a mother and how generous "Topsy" was. She told the story about when Topsy was a little girl she got an infection behind her eye. (She didn't mention that Grandpa and Grandma had to medicate Granny by cutting the eyelid open and dropping the medicine directly onto the infection.) She also commented on all the many academic degrees her descendants have and that my children and I sang the same song at her mother's funeral that I sang at Granny's funeral.
Families Can Be Together Forever
I have a family here on earth.
They are so dear to me.
I want to share my life with them
through all eternity.
While I am in my early years,
I'll prepare most carefully
so I can marry in God's temple
for eternity.
Then, when I leave this earthly life,
I'll return most happily
to the people that I love
for I lived obediently.
Families can be together forever
through Heavenly Father's plan.
I always want to be with my own family,
and the Lord has shown me how I can.
The Lord has shown me how I can.
Another lady got up and told how "Donna" always went to Weight Watchers with her, no matter how much pain she was in or how tired she was. When she asked why she did it, Granny answered, "For you!"
Thom Casey gave the closing prayer. Granny used to say about him, "He's such a sweet boy." I'm sure she would have loved to know that he attended her memorial service. I kept my composure through almost the entire service, but I lost it during the prayer. Thom lent me his hankie. It was a great comfort to me to have him there.
Rene Thompson was also there. Glenda and she were best friends growing up. She was always in our home and was part of the Gould family culture. She was at Micah and Bess's wedding dinner and it was especially nice to see her at Mom's memorial. Her presence meant a lot to Denise and me.
During refreshments, several other of Mom's friends came up to us and shared stories. One lady went to Mutual with Granny and they sang together at church functions through the years. Granny told me once about how one time she participated in a girl's singing group of which all the members were pregnant. I related that story to Mom's friend and she said that it was for her own wedding.
We said our good-byes and left. We traveled the six hours home and went to bed. The next morning Steven began his return to Wyoming. He went by way of Lake Side, so that he could scatter Mom's ashes at Lake Side, according to her wishes.
That was the beloved childhood home of Betty and Granny. Aunt Betty wanted to be present at the event, but Steven had to get home. I told him that Betty would never forgive him. He responded, "That's OK. She's old. She'll die soon."
When he got to Lake Side, he called me and we had a prayer. After he hung up, he walked a half mile to the sand hill where Betty and she used to play. Then he drove home.
I want everyone to know that I know that I will see my mother again, well and whole and happy. I know this absolutely. She is not in pain, she can move and breathe freely for the first time in many years. I know that she is greatly concerned for all her posterity and wants us to be together again forever.
About 20 years ago, Steven and I, during a particularly difficult time in our lives, promised each other again that we would always keep the commandments so that we would be together throughout eternity. Someday we will assuredly reap the blessings that come with that commitment.
Thanks for all your support during this difficult time. Each of my boys called to check up on me and Leah and Brad sent flowers. Then Harriett called to chat.
If you would like to view Granny's obituary, it may be found at sacbee.com/funeral. It was published on Oct 3. Look it up up by her last name.
One thing that both the program and the obit got wrong is that they both reported that Granny visited five different continents. In actuality, she visited six. I told her years ago that I was going to speak at her funeral and say that she only toured six continents and that she was a quitter. But I didn't have the nerve. So I'm making up for it now: She was a quitter because she never made it to Antarctica.
